Jasper's Shattered Heart
by AmberGoldenHeart
Summary: Jasper is in love but she doesn't deal with it the right way. She resorts to cutting and finding any way to hurt herself without letting any of the gems find out. One day Garnet's future vision reveals her secret. Steven has a dream as well. Can Garnet and Steven help Jasper tell Lapis Lazuli how she feels, or will Jasper continue her self torture?
1. Chapter 1: What's this Feeling?

**This story was inspired by my love of Jasper and another story someone made focused on Garnet and Pearl. Please enjoy and leave reviews on what you think**

It's been a few months since Jasper has joined the Crystal Gems. It was decided that the barn wasn't fit to be a home anymore so Peridot, Lapis Lazuli, and Jasper got their own rooms created in the temple. The most excited out of the three was Peridot.

"OH MY STARS! MY ROOM IS AMAZING!" Peridot cried out. Her room was a light green and it had all of the tech from Peridot's dorm from Jasper's destroyed Hand Ship. The gems had somehow repaired it. They had added a triangle shaped bed that was white and had multiple shades of green. Peridot's alien themed stuffed doll she won at FunLand was there.

Lapis's room was aquarium themed. There were walls of water with fish and other sea life on both sides of the room. In the center was a water bed with blue covers. On the side was a nightstand decorated with seashells. A starfish shaped lamp sat on top. Lapis smiled pleased.

Jasper entered her room and her eyes widened. Her room was orange and yellow. It was full with gym and other training equipment specially designed to not break when Jasper uses it. Jasper tended to break things when she got angry or when she just wanted to work out. There was also an open field for when she wanted to spar with someone. In the corner was a large orange bed with enough strength to not break if Jasper happened to be near it when she lost her temper. Jasper made a satisfied grunt. She was pleased.

Peridot, Lapis, and Jasper left their rooms to thank the gems. After the exciting day, everyone retired to their rooms. Jasper decides to enter Lapis's room to ask her a question but before she could ask...

"Lapis, have you seen my...huh?" Jasper stops wide eyed. She sees Lapis, dancing through the water, fish circling her. Lapis notices Jasper and waves. Jasper swallows and runs out and back into her room with a sweat. She starts to breath heavy, her stomach full of butterflies. "I feel strange..." she whispers to herself. "What's this feeling?"

* * *

Jasper is in bed. She can't sleep. She is thinking, thinking of that blue gem. "Why can't I stop thinking of her?" Jasper asks herself before drifting off to sleep.

 _"Jasperrrr..."_

 _"What? Who's there?"_

 _"Jaasspperrrr.."_

 _Jasper growls "SHOW YOURSELF!" as she attempts to summon her crash helmet, but she can't._

 _The scene changes. Jasper is in an underwater garden. She walks around, trying to find someone..but who? Then she spots her._

 _"Lapis..." Jasper whispers_

 _Lapis is dancing around, laughing and giggling. Jasper feels her mouth tugging into a smile._

 _As if Lapis was a magnet, Jasper feels herself being drawn towards her. Jasper gets close. Lapis turns around and offers a hand. "Let's be Malachite."_

 _Jasper nods and they are pulled into a dance. A wonderful, beautiful dance. Their faces get close and they pull into a gentle kiss._

 _The scene changes again._

 _Jasper looks around. She tries to move but finds herself in water chains. "Huh what?!" she yells out loud_

 _"JASPER!" a familiar voice rings out._

 _"LET ME GO!"_

 _"NO! You forced me into Malachite again! I forgave you once..my mistake. NEVER AGAIN!" Lapis yells out revealing herself with a scowl_

 _"Lapis I-I'm sorry!"_

 _"NO!"_

* * *

Jasper wakes up in a cold sweat. A sudden realization comes to her. "I-I'm in love...but Lapis...Lapis would never be...with me." she whispers to herself.


	2. Chapter 2: Pain

**Here is the next the next Chapter! Enjoy**

The week following the dream, the gems noticed Jasper avoiding everyone. Whenever they tried to communicate or ask if something was wrong, Jasper would sweat and yell at them to mind their own business.

When Saturday came around, the gems went on a mission to find and bubble a corrupted gem. Garnet had told Jasper she was needed for the mission. Jasper had tried to refuse but Garnet had lowered her shades to show the 'That wasn't a request' look. Jasper lost the battle of wills and went.

 _'At least Lapis didn't come'_ thought Jasper

The team consisting of Jasper, Garnet, and Amethyst trudged through a thick forest until they find the corrupted gem.

"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWRRR"

"Gems its this way!" Garnet shouts and they run towards the noise

They stop in front of the corrupted gem. It had eight legs, five eyes, an enourmous round body with a shell on top, and three arms with claws instead of hands. It looked much like a mix between a spider and a crab.

Everyone summoned their weapons as the creature attacked.

First, it tried to grab Garnet with its claws, but Garnet dodged. Amethyst summoned her whip and ran around the creature in attempt to tie its eight legs and trip it but she needed a distraction so the corrupted gem would stay in place.

"Jasper! Keep this thing busy for me kay?" Amethyst shouted out

Jasper grunted and kept using her spin dash to crash into the monster as she landed a few hits before getting caught in the creatures claws. She struggled to get out but to no avail. The creature tightened its grip causing her to receive scratches and bruises to her biceps. Garnet was able to free her by punching the creature in one of its eyes and Jasper was dropped. The corrupted gem let out another roar before Amethyst successfully trapped its legs and pulled at the whip, sending the creature to faceplant onto the ground. Garnet finished the job with another jab to its abdomen and it poofed. Garnet bubbled it and both of them walked to Jasper to see if she was okay.

"Jasper! You're all cut up!" Amethyst cried out worriedly.

"Jasper, you should retreat into you're gem and heal when we get back to the temple." Garnet suggested

"Yeah yeah okay." Jasper growled feeling like a weakling.

* * *

As the gems return to the beach house, Jasper heads to the temple. She starts to think about Lapis again until she winces and looks at her arm. She pulls out a shard of crystal out and shouts a curse. She tosses it to the side and gets ready to return to her gem until something reaches her mind.

 _'Physical pain makes the emotional go away.'_ Jasper thinks to herself.

She picks up the crystal shard again and cuts a small gash into her arm to test it. She winces again but it worked. Focusing on the physical pain helped with her heartache. She knew what she was doing was wrong but she was desperate to get that blue gem out of her mind.

* * *

The next morning she exited her room but she had phased a long sleeved uniform so no one would see the cuts and bruises.

Steven greeted Jasper, "Hi Jasper! Like you're new look!"

"Yo Jasper whats up with the long sleeves?" Amethyst asked

Jasper tensed but was able to think quickly, "I um..I just wanted to try something new."

"Well you're entitled to freedom of how you look, just be careful that it doesn't affect missions." Pearl called from the kitchen area as she was making breakfast for Steven.

Garnet looked skeptical but decided to think nothing of it for the time being.

Lapis and Peridot exit the temple and greet everyone.

"Hey Jasper, nice shirt." Peridot commented

Lapis snorted and laughed "I've never seen you in long sleeve's. Thought you always wanted to show off you're muscles."

Jasper started sweating as she thought in her head _'Boy her laugh is cute.'_ but remembering that she could never have her, she ran off into the temple.

"Jasper I was joking! Please don't be mad." Lapis called out but the door closed.

"It's okay Lazuli, she probably just wanted to punch something, she'll come around." Peridot reassured.

Inside her room Jasper was cutting herself again.

For the next two weeks, Jasper wasn't acting like herself and was avoiding Lapis. Everytime the blue gem was in her sight, she'd run into her room.

Lapis thought she was mad at her and tried to leave her alone but she couldn't stop asking her if she did something wrong, and Jasper would run to her room.

Garnet decided enough is enough. She knocked on Jasper's door.

"Jasper it's Garnet, please come out and talk to us." no response

Garnet went into her room and decided she needed to invade Jasper's privacy and used her future vision. She saw a few possibilities but one stood out. Garnet gasped as she visioned what Jasper's been doing but she couldn't be sure this was correct. She had to figure out if its true and fast.

* * *

Steven woke up that night screaming bloody murder. Everyone came out except for Jasper. He was holding onto his arms worriedly and inspecting them. The gems saw him tearing up and trying to comfort him.

"Guy's I-I was ... I-" Steven started before he was cut off by Pearl

"It's okay Steven it was a dream. Do you want to tell us?"

"I had gashes, cuts, and bruises all over my arms...and they were getting worse and worse. It hurt so bad..but what hurt the most was my chest but...there were no marks!" Steven cried

Everyone comforted him back to sleep and Garnet grabbed Pearl and took her to the burning room.

"Is something wrong Garnet?" Pearl asked

"Steven's dream confirmed my vision. Jasper's in trouble." Garnet said shakily

"Jasper? What happened to Jasper?"

"Pain"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, leave a review to let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3: Confrontations

**Enjoy :)**

Jasper was on her early morning run. It was still dark so no one was around which was the plan. She didn't want anyone to discovere her secret because she was sleevless at this time.

As she finishes her run, she silently enters the beach house so no one will hear her come in. She shuts the door as quietly and notices Garnet's door opening and quickly phases her long sleeved uniform back, just before Garnet sees.

"Jasper you're up early." She comments

"I-I yeah j-just went for a run." Jasper stammers

"Can I talk to you for a moment in the temple?"

"Uh...sure?"

Garnet opens the temple and leads her into a crystal-like room, completely empty except for a table and two chairs.

"  
"What's going on?!" Jasper growls but there is a hint of fear in her voice.

"I think you know."

Jasper tries to run out but the door shuts. Jasper tries to open it but it doesn't obeys her commands. She tries a spin dash it but still to no avail.

"LET ME OUT GARNET!" she shouts summoning her crash helmet attempting to smash it into the door again.

"You aren't getting out until we talk."

"I have nothing to say fusion."

Jasper hasn't called Garnet 'fusion' for a while. Not since the last time she had a high level argument with her, resulting in the destruction of half the beach house.

"Sit down Jasper." Garnet orders

Jasper looks like she's about to attempt to smack Garnet in the face but instead she lets out a breath and sits in one chair and dissipates her crash helmets. Garnet sits in the other across from her.

There is silence for about two minutes.

"So what do you want?" Jasper snarls

"Tell me why you're doing this to yourself."

"Doing what?"

"This." Garnet pulls up Jasper's left sleeve before she can react to reveal her arm, full of cuts, bruises, and gashes.

Jasper quickly takes her arm back and recovers it with her sleeve.

"Why are you doing this? Steven had confirmed my vision that you were hurting yourself. He felt you're pain through a dream. He doesn't know he was in you're body but he could feel intense pain within you."

"Why do I need to tell you anything? Doesn't your 'precious future vision' tell you?" she spat back

"You are correct, I do know why you are, without my future vision. But I want to hear it from you."

"This is stupid, just let me out. I can do whatever I want to myself."

"If you aren't ready to tell me, I have no choice but to keep you here where you can't hurt yourself."

"Fine keep me in here! As long as I can be alone I'm just fine!"

"Oh you won't be alone." Garnet says almost smugly

* * *

For the next month, Jasper refused to talk at all. She had twenty-four hour supervision by either Garnet or Pearl, the only two who knows about Jasper's predicament. everyone else was told Jasper is on a mission and are not sure when she will be back. It was mostly for Steven but they wanted to keep Jasper's situation confidential.

While Pearl was watching Jasper, she finally spoke up.

"Pearl?"

"Yes Jasper?" Pearl says hoping Jasper is ready to talk about her feelings.

"Can you go to the 'Big Doughnut' and get me a couple chocolate eclairs?"

"Jasper, you never eat!"

"I remember Steven eating one and I decided it looked good. I'm thinking about trying it. I'd _appreciate_ it very much."

Pearl, surprised that Jasper is trying to be civil after a month of solitude and silence.

"Well Garnet isn't here-"

"I'll behave. It's not like I can do anything in here."

"Ugh fine. I'll be back in ten minutes. I'm trusting you." and Pearl leaves.

* * *

Pearl acquires the pastries and comes back about five minutes early. She sees Jasper sitting in the corner. Jasper sensing Pearl quickly pulls down her sleeves and stands up.

"Uh..um...Pearl you're five minutes early!" Jasper stammers

Pearl was suspicious

"Yes it took less longer than before. Here are the eclairs."

As Jasper reaches to take the bag Pearl quickly grabs her arm and pulls up a sleeve, revealing fresh wounds.

"I knew it! Jasper hand it over!" Pearl demands

Knowing she is caught she pulls out a piece of glass out of her gem and places it in Pearl's palm.

"Jasper why do you do this to yourself?"

"Because my heart aches.."

"Are you ready to talk about it?"

Feeling defeated Jasper nods.

They wait for Garnet because Garnet had told Pearl that she is to talk to Jasper and not Pearl when Jasper is ready to confess.

Garnet arrives and Pearl informs her that Jasper is ready.

 **Okay onto the next Chapter! See you soon!**


	4. Chapter 4: The Confession

**Woo on a roll! ENJOY**

Jasper is sitting in a chair, Garnet in the other chair.

"Jasper I hear you are ready to talk about it. I know it hurts, but talking about it might ease the pain." Garnet says with a calm and caring voice. This slightly relaxes Jasper but she still appears tense.

"I've fallen in love with someone who doesn't love me back." Jasper confesses. "To ease the emotional pain...I have been damaging my skin. It makes me focus on a different hurt that hurts less." Jasper sighs

"How do you know Lapis doesn't love you back?"

"Because she- WAIT how did you know it was Lapis?"

"It's pretty obvious." Garnet smirks and motions for Jasper to continue.

Jasper sighs, "Well she showed me how much she hated me when we were Malachite. I know we are on good terms now but...if I told her or accidentally fused with her, she would despise me again."

"Hmm. Well all I can do is say you never know what will happen until you tell her."

"WHAT?! I-I could never do that! Are you crazy?!" Jasper screams

"It's the only way to make the pain stop. Consider it. I trust you not to cut yourself anymore so you can leave this room now. Just think about this conversation." Garnet lowers her shades and winks one of her three eyes.

* * *

Jasper comes out of the room with Garnet, still covering her arms with sleeves for Steven's sake.

"Jasper you're back!" Steven runs up and hugs her leg "I missed you sooo much!"

"Heh, I missed you too little man." Jasper ruffles his hair

"Yo sis you were gone for like a month!" Amethyst calls from the couch

"Jasper has been gone for approximately thirty-two days and six hours." Peridot corrects

Lapis enters the beach house and sees Jasper. As Jasper is getting ready to high tail it to the temple, Garnet holds her shoulder and nods

"Hi Jasper. You aren't still mad are you?" Lapis Lazuli asks.

"I was never mad." Jasper starts to sweat. She hopes no one will notice

"Then why have you been avoiding me?"

Jasper blushes a deep red.

"Everyone Jasper needs to talk to Lazuli, lets all go to the beach and leave these to to converse." Garnet says.

Everyone obeys and leaves Jasper and Lapis alone.

 _'Just great, the fusion left me for death.'_ Jasper thinks

"Hey Jasper do you want to sit and talk?"

Jasper gulps and nods and sits next to Lapis.

"Jasper what's going on with you. You barely talk, you avoid me, and you were gone for a month! I need to kno-" Lapis stops and sees Jasper's sleeve had slightly raised and notices a mark. She grabs her sleeve in attempt to pull it up but Jasper puts up a fight.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! Jasper yells pulling her arm away but Lapis keeps a tight grip causing it to rip revealing the marks. Lapis lets out a gasp and Jasper quickly phases another long sleeved shirt on. As Jasper gets up to run into her room Lapis stops her.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" she asks begging for an answer

"B-because I can! I LIVE for pain." Jasper exclaims

"No Jasper, I know something is wrong. You can tell me."

Jasper's sweat beads down her forehead.

"JASPER!" Lapis orders

"BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T LOVE ME BACK!" Jasper shouts losing her will and composure

"Who is it? I can help you tell them-" Lapis is cut off when Jasper kisses her quickly and runs into her room in the temple where a loud crash can be heard.

Lapis is still for a moment then whispers to herself, "It's me.."

 **Wow Jasper is CRAZY in love. What will happen next?**


	5. Chapter 5: Torn

**Sorry this took so long! Been busy with stuff! Enjoy this next edition to the story!**

Jasper had torn her room apart. Even the equipment meant to not break when she was enraged. Afterwards she collapsed on her bed. She felt a wet streak down her cheek. Another one followed until her tears were streaming. She was crying.

Jasper had always thought herself the toughest gem out there, even after being defeated by Garnet. But here she was, bawling like a human infant. She never thought she could be weaker than she already felt.

Weeks pasted and Jasper hadn't left the room. Everyone was getting worried. She wouldn't come out for anything, not even missions or anything as the gems pleaded for her to come out. Every once in a while when Steven went to bed, he'd accidentally fall into Jasper's mind. When he'd wake up his face would be wet with tears. Steven thought he would keep this to himself until he could figure out why Jasper was crying until one night.

* * *

Steven found himself in Jasper's room. It was dark and everything was broken or torn. He tried to get up but he was sore. He tried to speak but it came out as Jasper's voice but it wasn't normal, it was hoarse and sad.

Steven was in Jasper's body. But Jasper was in terrible emotional pain and was full of exhaustion. He made Jasper's body go to sleep, hoping to help her get some sleep.

Still in Jasper's body, Steven was dreaming.

Steven (in Jasper's body) was underwater. He began to wander. After a while he stopped.

 _'I feel like Jasper is looking for someone'_ he thought.

Then he saw that someone.

 _"Lapis.."_ he whispered through Jasper's voice.

He felt his heart beat faster as he ran to dream Lapis.

Lapis giggled and snorted. Steven felt Jasper's cheeks heat up and his mouth tugged into a smile.

Steven felt like Jasper was drawn to Lapis as if...

 _'Jasper loves Lapis!'_ he thought.

The scene changed.

Steven (still in Jasper's body) was in water chains.

He felt himself cry as Jasper's voice was forced out.

 _"Please..please forgive me Lapis..I didn't mean to make you Malachite again!"_

Steven shot up in his bed, still crying.

"I have to help Jasper..." He whispered.

* * *

Morning came and Steven got dressed. He came out looking extremely depressed for he still could feel Jasper's heartache. The gems noticed his saddened appearance and confronted him. Lapis was not there though.

"His vision spheres are leaking.." Peridot commented

"Steven...are you okay?" Pearl asked

"No..." he whispered

"Hey Ste-man you can tell us anything." Amethyst offered

"Tell us whats wrong." Garnet asks though she can almost tell whats been bothering him

"I don't know if I should. The only thing I feel like sharing right now is that Jasper's not doing well.." Steven says, his eyes tearing up

Pearl, fearing that Jasper has gotten back into her cutting habit, runs to the temple door and bangs on it. "Jasper you better not be doing what I think you're doing!" she shouts. After a few more bangs Jasper opens the door and shows her arms. "I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!" and with that she goes back into her room and shuts the door. After a minute they can hear Jasper breaking more stuff in her room.

"Wow Pearl, you REALLY ticked Jasper off." Amethyst says almost in a teasing voice

* * *

 _ **Meanwhile with Lapis...**_

Lapis had taken the day to think by herself in her own little world. Her bedroom was not an option, considering it was too close to everyone, so she had decided to sit on the ocean floor, about two miles from the beach house. She felt herself unable to stop thinking about Jasper, and her kiss...

 _'Why does she like me like this? I made her feel so awful when we were Malachite...even though we are on good terms now...why did her kiss make me feel like electricity? Do I like her back with the same affections?'_ All of these questions and thoughts were swarming around her mind. Lapis gets up from her spot as she made her decision.

* * *

Lapis enters the beach house as the gems try to get some information out of Steven.

"Please Steven, tell us whats going on?" Pearl had asked for the seventh time

"I cant. It's personal to Jasper. I have to be the one to help her. If I told you what I saw, you won't leave Jasper alone like how you won't leave me alone!" Steven snaps surprising everyone. Realizing his tone he quickly apologizes and turns around noticing Lapis. "Hi Lapis I think I can tell you whats going on. After all, the only solution I can think of requires you."

Lapis nods and leads Steven to her room so they can discuss the situation involving Jasper.

Lapis takes Steven into her room in the temple. "Okay shoot"

"Um...how do I put this? Jasper...likes you?" Steven says trying to put his words together

"I know..."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it and I'm not sure what to do." Lapis nervously tapped her fingers together

"Well she's hurting bad. I was in her dream and she's scared that you'll hate her if she accidentally makes you Malachite again from a love fusion."

"She's hurting herself in other ways too." Lapis mutters

"Huh?"

"Nothing!" Lapis says knowing Steven is too young to deal with matters on cutting

"So you gonna talk to her?" Steven asked with a hopeful heart

"I guess it wouldn't hurt..."

* * *

Later that day Lapis knocks on the temple door.

"Jasper it's Lapis! Can I talk to you?"

No response

Lapis knocks again

"Jasper! Please open I need to talk to you!"

Still no response.

Getting a brave idea Lapis tries again

"Jasper! Amethyst is reading your old logs to Steven! They say something about your thoughts on Yellow Diamond's stupid-"

Jasper runs out of the temple shouting

"WHERE IS THAT RUNT!"

Lapis snorts and laughs

"Sorry Jasper I had to get you out of that room. I need to talk to you."

Jasper pulls on her collar and gulps "A-about what?"

"Let's go sit on the beach and talk okay?"

Jasper hesitates but nods.

* * *

 **Please let me know what you thought of this Chapter and thanks!**


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